Last page of 365,

This year has had lots of ups and many downs. It has been a year of many trials, to test how far I can take myself. 

Although I can't ever really say "2014 has been the best year yet!" But I'm so thankful for this year and all that I've learnt from it. 

I've learnt patience really is a virtue, something's cannot be rushed no matter how hard you try. And it's better to just let it go, then try again. 

I've learnt how much I can actually love someone, so much more than myself. Another soul, I found to care for and to love with my broken heart that was glued back to its pieces. 

I've learnt that everyone makes mistakes, it takes courage and strength to forgive and to also forget. Two people in this year, had made me question my capabilities and to test how much strength I actually need to get myself through. 

Although I'll never know why, it is me you've chose to do this to. I can only say I can understand the reason behind "fighting for what you love." All I ask for is to care for what you fight for and know what you're fighting for. Everyone deserves to love, to choose who they can love or want to love. I'll understand, even if it takes all of me to. 

And the most important thing I've learn from this year is that selfless sacrifices will always be worth it, to the people you love. I cannot promise you it wouldn't hurt, but I can promise you it'll always be worth the sacrifice. 

So before this year comes to an end, I want to thank all the love ones I've had with me throughout this 2014, be it my ups and downs, smiles and frowns. I'll be forever thankful. 

To those I've only met this year, it's not a very long time, but we've forged a friendship I'd never thought I would have. Knowing you guys, is a blessing. So thank you, for backing me up, sticking by and cheering me on when I needed it most. 

Lastly, to the love of my heart, my life and my soul. Thank you, for the understanding you've given me, for all the patience you've had for me because I know how hard it can be. &for the love I never thought I'd deserve, I will always keep you in the brightest side of my memories. You've changed my life, for the better and I've learnt so much from it. 

So to 2015, come what may. 

I only wish for the happiness to be abundance for the people I love. X

Thank you 2014. 

For you,

"Here are the things I want for you : 

I want you to be happy, I want someone else to know the warmth of your smile, to feel the way I did when I was in your presence. 

I want you to know how happy you once made me. I don't know if what we had was love, but if it wasn't I'd never want to fall in love. Because of you, I know I'm too fragile to bear it. 

I hope you'll always remember my lips beneath your finger and how you told me things that you've never told another soul. 

Finally, I'm sorry for pushing you away, when I only meant to pull you closer. And if it ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. I want you to know that most of all."

Thank you for all those years, I couldn't have asked for someone better to be with&spend it with. 

I will always keep them in heart. X

Be safe, wherever you are. 

"There is a particular kind of suffering to be experienced when you love something greater than yourself. A tender sacrifice. Like the pained silence felt in the lost song of a mermaid; or the bent and broken feet of a dancing ballerina. It is in every considered step I am taking in the opposite direction of you."

2nd day of Christmas,

To know what it feels like to be so blessed this Christmas. 

Also, happy birthday to the best mom in the whole world. I love you mommy, I hope you enjoyed the celebration today. 

Have yourself a merry little christmas,

Christmas Day had just passed, just so much love. 

Spent the day over at the cousins place for our usual Christmas dinner, talked about our younger days and laughed about how much we've grown but still do all the same stupid things. 

Best part is home made christmas meal, too much yum to my tum. 

I love my family, they are the blessings of my life. The love we share for one another never fails and I'm forever grateful. 

Merry Christmas sweethearts. X

Can never be more thankful and appreciative for this Christmas. 

Merry Christmas beautiful people. X

"I want to make you smile, whenever you're sad. 

Carry you around, when your arthritis is bad. 

All I want to do, is grow old with you. 

I'll get your medicine, when your tummy aches. 

Build you a fire, if our furnace breaks. 

I could be the one to grow old with you. 

I'll miss you, kiss you. Give you my coat when you are cold. 

Need you, feed you. Even let you hold the remote control. 

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you've had too much to drink. 

It could be so nice, growing old with you. 

I wanna grow old, with you."

Thank you, for everything. 

How many times do you have to fuck up to learn Rachael. How many fucking times?

Would you save my soul, tonight?

Friday, today was a long day. I did something I never thought I would've ever done.

Some say getting over your own fear might be the hardest to do, I guess it really depends on how much you want to do it? Sometimes getting over your own fear might make you stronger than you actually think you are.

It has been two weeks, every now and then I still find myself dwelling in the same thoughts and fears I never thought I'd have, again. I can feel it in every inch of my bones and the very living of my soul. My heart crackles a little everytime my mind brings up the thoughts I wished I never had. The quietest nights has gotten me thinking, if it really would be better if it wasn't for me.

Yes I would've done everything with you, and anything that makes you happy just to see the smile on your face. Despite everything, I choose to believe I could still be better for you. But not when the nights get quiet and cold.

You deserve every inch of happiness in this world, and to see you smile, nothing could ever measure up to that. I've never known the true meaning of loving someone until I met you, loving is selfless, and its worth it.
Even if it breaks me to give you the happiness you deserve, I would.

I love you, and nothing has changed.



"Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?
Would you run, and never look back? 
Would you cry, if you saw me crying? 
Would you save my soul tonight.

Would you tremble, if i touched your lips?
Would you laugh, oh please tell me this
Would you die, for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight.

Would you swear, that you'll always be mine
or would you lie
Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep, have I lost my mind?
I don't care you're here tonight."


I'd always remember,
You can be, my hero.


Thank you for the amazing day. X

I've learnt that forgiveness comes with forgetting, when you forget something, you let it pass, therefore letting it go. 

Nothing warms my heart more than you telling me, you want us to grow old together. Cheesy as it sounds, I feel so blessed. No doubt we've had tough times, we disagree so often we might be better off alone. But I'm so glad we'd always make the decision to fight for one another despite how hard it might get. 

I'm not easy to be with, but all I can say is I'm thankful you never gave up on me, like how everyone else would. If they stayed long enough to learn what I really am. 

It's hard to find someone who'll love you and stay by you. Fight for you, because they need you in their lives. 

They say loving someone selflessly is unfair to yourself, but you know what? It's worth it, it'll always be. 

No better end to my Monday, for that I am thankful. 

"I’ll laugh at every joke you tell, even if it means I’d be the only one laughing with you. I’ll smile every time our eyes meet because these butterflies just won’t seem to leave. I’ll spend my Sundays with you, watching you jump in excitement as your favorite team scores. I’ll help you make dinner and feed it to you as long as you promise to help me clean afterwards. And if you want me there with you, I’ll watch every action/superhero movie with you as long as you’re willing to watch one chick flick with me. I’ll also have beer (or wine) with you while you talk about your day’s work. And when you’re sick, I’ll try my best to make you feel better with all the cuddling and sweet loving I can give. 

As your girlfriend, I’ll give you your space. I’ll ask you how your day went—not out of routine, but out of curiosity, because I want to know which parts of your day made you smile and made you frown. As your girlfriend, I’ll make silly, annoying faces while you play video games just to see if you’ll notice (would that also make you move out of the same position you’ve been in for the past 3 hours?) I’ll also peel your Cuties for you while you complain about how small they are compared to oranges. I’ll surprise you on random occasions, and spoil you with sweet kisses and long hugs daily. As your girlfriend, I promise to be loyal. Because at the end of the day, you’re the only one I want. I’ll be the one you can share your hopes, your dreams, and your fears. I’ll be your walking diary. I’ll be real, and I’ll promise to tell you how it is because you deserve nothing less. I’ll do my best to consider your thoughts and your feelings, and though I may not be able to fill in your size 12 shoes, I’ll try my damn hardest to walk in them first before I make my judgments. As your girlfriend, I’ll yell, and I’ll cry. My insecurities and jealousy will eventually surface regardless of how hard I try to hide them. There’ll be times when I won’t make sense. And when I’m worried or confused, I’ll ask questions—lots of them. Sometimes, they’ll be long and stupid, so I’ll need you to be patient with me. I’ll give you long silences when I’m upset, and I’ll keep to myself when I’m not ready to talk to you. I’ll also make you mad—but since I won’t be able to read your mind, I’ll need you to tell me. And while we argue, I’ll work hard to consider your feelings and be fair.

As your girlfriend, I’ll treat you how I would want to be treated. I want to be all the good things to you, and though I know this can’t always be true, I’ll try my best to not be so bad. I can’t promise you I’ll be perfect, but as your girlfriend, I’ll do all I can to be the best one you’ve ever had.

Only because you make me want to be." 

It's so hard you know, finding someone you can really say you love selflessly. 

How do you deal with something that haunts you and eats you from the insides of your soul?

"Maybe some things just aren’t meant to happen. No matter how badly you’ve wanted it; no matter how much you prayed, wished, hoped, and tried. Maybe you just have to find a way to run and hide and escape. Maybe you leave the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s alone and forget about closure. Maybe the feelings will eventually just go away. Maybe you learn to live with this: We weren’t meant to be otherwise we would have been; and if it was ever in our hands, let us not make the same mistakes again. Especially if by some miracle, fate would ever have the audacity to give you and them another chance. But careful now, maybe that’s just you, hoping against hope once again; not quite willing to believe that maybe it wasn’t meant to be."

The weekends are almost over, yet again.

This has been the longest, most thought-filled week since months ago. So much has happened, so much has been done. After it all, I really want to be so fuckin thankful for everything and everyone in my life. You only, really live just this once. How your life ends up, is really up to you. Love hard, forgive just as much and live free.

I had so much to think about the past one week, I can't say its been easy going. Life is really tough, you live with expectations, the more you expect the more you get disappointed. We have to accept what is, and what has been. Be understanding, misunderstandings are the worst to have. I've live through it all. I wouldn't say my life has been just as tough, but I understand there are sufferings in this world meant to make us stronger and for that I'm thankful.

Tonight, I want to end my entry saying, thank you. Thank you for making me realise how much I really love you, and how much I miss spending all my time with you. How cuddling in the rainy weather never felt any warmer, hugs never felt just as heart warming. My weekends have been blessed, for that I'm utterly thankful.

Thankful for as always, how you'd brave the rain with me. I'm unsure how many more thunderstorms there will be, but I'll be brave as long as I'm with you.

I love you. But is that enough? 

Nothing ever stays the same, nothing quite like love.

To love is to let go. 

I've probably heard this a thousand and one times. But sometimes, it's just so hard. Knowing what's right and the best for something or someone. 

Many times I've come across a situation when making the wrong decision is harder than making the right one. How do we determine what's the better option?

Lately my mind has been flooded with thoughts. Just too much thoughts. 

Seeing the person you love in so much pain really kills you. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, your smile is the best thing to wake up to and everything else in my day. 

I only promise never to hurt you and be ever so thankful I found you. 

But sometimes I can't help but think you deserve so much more, so much more than just me. 

I am nothing pretty, nothing sexy, nothing in fact. Many times I just wished I was enough. The best I could ever be for you because you deserve someone that could be their best for you. 

All I want is to see you happy, because when you're not, it kills me. 

"Because you loved them, there will always be parts of them that linger. The memories that are impressed on the places you went and the things you said and the songs you listened to will remain. We all eventually find ourselves standing in the checkout line, hearing one of those songs come on and realizing that all of a sudden, we’re revolving around them again. And maybe we never stopped."

Monday Blues,

In a few more hours its back to reality, time passes really fast and in a blink of an eye the weekends are over, again. Where did all the long weekends go? I need a holiday get away, I can't believe I'm saying this but I really need a break. Any work environment would be stressful, but it just seems lately I've been really off track and I'm very exhausted.

Sometimes I just wished time would pass a little slower for me. But yet again, back to reality. Was suppose to upload my visuals, but that would probably be tomorrow. Goodnight sweethearts, hope you guys get through the Monday blues strong! X

Halloween 2014,

The Monday Face.

Happy Monday so far all! How's the weekends? I finally have the time to update this space again, work has been tying me down and I've been stuck at work the past 2 weeks or so and my weekends were packed till I'm drained. Sigh, working life just ain't that much fun after awhile.  But today I finally left work on time and got to have dinner with Gabby + an early night home.

So for halloween, I guess if you've seen my instagram or maybe not. I went as my favourite game character of ALL TIME, Tomb Raider aka Lara Croft. Been obsessing over her since young, when my cousins first introduced me to her games, I knew I was going to get addicted and finally got the chance to bring her to life! It was such a fun night, getting to go out with guns strapped to yourself and walk along the streets without being stared at or thought of as illegal. I actually got a onesie with Gabby&we were going to go as flying unicorns. But the thought of me letting this chance pass by again wasn't agreeing with my heart. After much consideration, I went to get my gear.

 Got these realistic looking guns from "Black Tactical" @ Funan IT Mall.

Thank God I had google to find out where I could get the most realistic pistols, I've seen the ones at costume shops but they still never come as close to those they sell in their store. Got these for a cheap $22???? They're actually toy guns, which came with this aiming pad, it makes noises as well as they are battery operated. The gun holsters are sold at the costume shop at Far East Plaza! But those were a little pricey IMO.

As for my outfit of the night...

Gear Details,

Black Tank Top : Some cheap random market shop. 

Black torn Shorts: Borrowed from Beeps. 

Belt : Levis

Wrist straps: Got them removed from a dress. 

Boots: Dr Martens

Socks : My old trusty white school socks. 

Shades : Charles and Keith.

They were pretty basic items I found while ransacking my clothes in the wardrobe. So my costume was pretty cheap and easily done! I've seen many others who've done the same costume as well but their outfit was more on point compared to mine! Everything was detailed and done to the last minor parts of it. If I'd ever go as her again, I'll probably try another look. (:

The rest of the night's photos taken by Gabby's & Joey's phone. 

My burrito the flying unicorn! He's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!!!!!! 

Joey as her slutty Flight Attendant.

&For those of you who were wondering where my flying unicorn is......

 (Apologies for the messy bed room, I really need to find the time to clear up.)

Yupp that's all for the night I guess, I'm going to crash pretty soon. Back to work tomorrow again! Sigh, I wish I could wake up without the alarm.....but before I go......

 Loving the new lash extensions I got from Bby aka Roxanne (&my Bagua from grandma) !!!!! 

She's such a talent for beauty, I always trust her to make me beautiful hahaha. 

But will blog about that another time. My brain is starting to malfunction as I type. Goodnight y'all beautiful people, have a great week ahead! X

The Platypus Lobster Shack,

Finally the weekends! How's everyone's Friday going so far? Its halloween night tonight and I'm so stoked going out to meet the Gabby and the girls. Dressing up for the event for the first time as I've slept one away and the other was a shabby try of being a vampire. But today I'm going to update my space with Roxanne's actual day birthday celebration at "The Platypus lobster shack" located at bugis junction! While getting prepared I've some spare time (:

So Monday was Roxy's official day&I had a surprise planned for her with Kitson, cause the other night we totally missed out getting her a cake as we shared someone else's. Careful planning with Kitson in order not for her to know that I was going to be there for the dinner, she's just really that good at exposing surprises..... sigh.

Th lobster shack is known for their handmade pastas! But I've tried the lobster burger thing as well and it tasted just as good?

 The atmosphere was kinda good I guess, pretty quiet and crowd-less, but maybe cause it was a Monday afterall.

The menus actually have really interesting pictures on them! Makes ordering food kinda interesting?

Pretty neat seahorse drawing?

 Please excuse the shameless #selfie , cause I was thrown alone while Kitson went to pick the main character of the night and her parents. So I took the chance haha.

This pumpkin soup is amazing. The taste is some kind of nice,which I can't really explain.

 This pasta's with truffle oil bacon bits and shrooms + really strong taste of cheese. People who love cheese this is definitely for you. Roxanne almost puked at the smell of my dish haha

 The legendary lobster burger! Tasted super good though,the lobster pieces were chunky and meaty!

 NOW THIS. Is basically vanilla ice cream and apple pie. But there's this little ingredient on the ice cream which pops in your mouth?!?!?! Like the pop sweets they sell in mama stores. LOL 

Miss Wee and Family.

 Happiest Birthday BBG! 

 Looking super disgusting, cause it was a Monday, hence the monday blues face. 

That's pretty much all for now! Gonna finish up my makeup and head out, will update about halloween soon! Hope you guys have a great halloween weekend! Stay Beautiful y'all. X