Heartwrenching,

Times when you get really tired of trying to explain yourself and making yourself feel like you're wanted here. You ask me where my home is,it was right there with you,till things have changed. Or perhaps,after you have changed. This place used to be my home,a place I'd come to when I'm at my lowest,when the whole world crumbles down on me,when there's no place left to hide. But now?I'd rather be somewhere else than back here,all I wanted was a simple conversation with you. I came home knowing,that if all else fails on me,I'd find a place I can always count on,or even someone I can always lean on even if the world turns away. But things have changed. I don't find comfort in telling you my problems,I don't find love in this family anymore. I may not be the smartest one in the family,I maybe brainless,like how you say I always am. Every achievement made is just a "Should be"/"Suppose to",nothing I've done right was ever recognized. I do the most outrageous things you'll ever come across,my words are always lies. No matter how hard I try to mend back the mistakes I used to make. &When I try to start a conversation with you,it ends up wrong. My good intentions always taken as bad,nosy,or not even my fucking business to begin with. I live on myself,literally. Not a single cent from you,and I have not rant a word about that. I understand situations,I just probably fail at solving them,cause each time I try,we end up in one big mess. I hurt your feelings,I break your heart. What about you,when you hurt my feelings and tear my heart apart time and time again with the words you say. You know,I'm really,honestly,exhausted.

I have too many things crashing on me,& I can't cope.

&My weakness is,I care too much.

"A home is a place you grow up wanting to leave,

and grow old wanting to get back." - John Ed Pierce

But honestly,I don't feel this way anymore.

"Dear Mom,

I may always say bad things behind your back,

Do things that are definitely out of your will,

Go to places without your permission and I've

said many things that might have hurt you alot.

But believe me mom,I really love you so much,

even though I'm not so great in expressing it.

Love,

Me."