Therapy,

Sunday 28th November 2010, Currently 12:27 am.

I spent my ever first Saturday in many long months,having no lessons nor having to work.

Sleeping and lazying home with Boyf. Having spending the rest of the night with family.

Today is Sunday and I'm back to church at 9am later on. Monday back to work,honestly

I think my life has somehow turned into a routine. Or somewhat a playlist. The same thing

repeats itself over and over again. I am somehow or rather sick and tired of it,great. Such

short attention span I have for my job. I hope my Sunday turns out fine. &Anyway,have a

great trip over to L.A my favourite girls! Though I was suppose to join you guys. Alright,

I think I need some shuteye now.

Tonight feels especially quiet. I feel cold and I'm not sure why.

I feel like my mood is on a roller coaster ride. It goes up,and down.

So far down that,I'll blow at the slightest things that hit me.

Deep thoughts are running through my mind,&cramps can't make this night any better.

I honestly hate nights like these. Why is my heart so heavy?

&I don't know whether or not to speak to you anymore,Mum.

It kills me having to speak to you every moment,and before we know it,

we're screaming at each other again. That kills me,if you don't ever realise.

You do things for me,when I ask you to when you're happy to do so.

Then when everything turns bad,you fire it back at me. Telling me you're no slave of mine,

that I have to get things done myself if I want to get it done. I'm tired,of explaining myself.

Time and time again.When it sucks to know,its been at least 6 years of trying hard to

change myself. &all I get back is telling me,how much I'm still the same. I just don't know,

what to do anymore.

Honestly,tell me. What is the fucking point?

I am so fucking exhausted. Really.