Sunny mornings,

Happy Thursday everyone! Spent the weekends at Gabby's , basically ice cream, food, eating and alot of sleeping. I really don't get how lazy we can be, its .... ridiculous. Lol I think we'd rather forgo the food just to have more sleep. Also, brought the little furball for walks cause gabby had to stay home to look after the place as they had people over servicing their air-conditioners. 

Also if you noticed, Scottie's leg has a little red patch due to his constant nibbling , which I'm not sure why he does that. At first we knew it was the use of wrong shampoo, but after changing his shampoo he still nibbles on that part of his leg and the red-ness hasn't gone down, checked his skin also, there isn't fleas or whatsoever... Wonder if anyone knows the reason to his skin irritation? 

Well apparently, Scottie was too busy enjoying the scenery to be interested in a selfie of himself or any with me. I wouldn't blame him either, who wouldn't be busy with a bright sunny morning! Wish pebbles wouldn't irritate him, so they could go on walks together or perhaps stay in the same place together...

------------

I lost track of time oh my god. I spent a good whole 2hours 45minutes on this ultimately short post.
"Ruse of engagement" obviously caught too much of my attention.

Also, I'm getting really sleepy. My eye bags and eyelids are dying for some beauty rest. Meeting the girls later for some girly appointment. Not something I'm actually really looking forward to, but what the hell, I've agreed to it. Again, I cannot believe myself over the stupid things I do....or rather I'd give and take in exchange for time with the girls. So Goodnight my little planet. Tomorrow will be a better day. X


"I've learned being happy just requires you to be contented. When you are contented, simplest things make you the happiest." - Thank you for making me so happy, like a flopping little bunny. (:





P.S I need a new portable handy cam. :/ Sponsors? hahaha

It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight,

(Excuse, the birthday selfie. )

This weekend , I turned 22. Time really flies, it felt just like yesterday when I turned 21.. and in a blink of an eye , I am another year older. Birthday resolutions? This year , I will accomplish finishing school, earn as much money and save as much as I can, TO STOP PROCRASTINATING AT EVERYTHING I DO , & most importantly be a better person. I have tons of flaws & honestly, you're gonna tell me "Who doesn't?" , but I really don't want to make that as an excuse for me to take for granted that I'll always be forgiven / given second chances because "everyone makes mistakes." 

That's just not it. In life we make mistakes yes, but we don't repeat them. Its not going to be "okay" anymore, if we keep repeating the things we said sorry for. Which in another sense, what was the point of the "sorry"? Anyone can say they're sorry for the things they've done, but it takes a different person to actually learn from it. &Time and time again, I've done that. It really does get quite irritating at a certain extent. 

&aside from that , I procrastinate alot. I've learned from one of my bff's that its annoying. She once told me, "There is no point in whining about the situation, if it's really too fucked up to continue , quit. If not, suck it up and get it over and done with. As a friend , I have to tell you that you procrastinate too much and its annoying." (not exactly that, but somewhere along the line) - now this, woke me up. Of course, at some point everyone does , but for me , its all.the.time. Which I can understand from her point of view. So now I've learned that its either I suck it up , or I quit. But most of the time , I suck it up. (Only the weak quit. haha okay I'm kidding) because I'm just too much of a coward to tell straight up I quit, also I find it illogical to always say I quit , right?  

So that is pretty much about it for the birthday resolutions. As for now , I'm just going to briefly sum up my Birth-date and celebration. I had a pre-celebration with the family, because they have foreseen that I would have plans on the actual day itself, and I was surprised with a handmade/ made from scratch Barbie jelly cake! Done by my talented Aunt, but I can't seem to find the full family photo we took and the one of the cake, no one uploaded it, sadly.

On the day itself, I had my date with me aka. Gabriel the bunny, who brought me out for the special day! (~Can you feel , the love tonight~) , who also...SURPRISED ME AT MY WORK PLACE THE NIGHT BEFORE TO PICK ME UP, and stayed the night. Although we didn't managed to finish our movie before we knocked out... Also, pardon the lack of visuals, because the smart me forgot to bring my memory card out, while lugging the entire camera bag out. Sometimes, I cannot believe myself over the stupid things I do.........

Dinner with the girls and their +1's at Vivo's JPOT! First time there, the waiting time was .. not over the top long. The food was, average I guess. But the company was , wonderful. I cannot ask for the better few to celebrate this day with. So if any of you have yet to try JPOT, I guess you should give it a try, because this.. was the first time I had my own steamboat pot to myself. 

That's basically it! I had a wonderful 22nd, thankful to all that celebrated with me. Also my dearest simaling , who got more than half of the year 2011 batch to sing me a birthday song over the phone and personally wish me one by one (cutest thing done by far haha). Next year when I turn 23, I'll hope for... the same happy feeling I had this year again (:

So thank you for reading, if anyone actually did lol. This is the most I've typed in the longest time. Over something, not so depressing. It has been a really tough few months, &I'm really glad its all good now, also thankful to all those darlings of mine that stood by me despite me being so depressed half the time. &If there's one thing I've learnt during these tough times, is that, you really should never take anything/anyone for granted, its true, that you don't know just how much something/someone means to you, until you realize you can lose it with a slip of a tongue, or finger. Think before you speak, words can hurt more than knifes sometimes. 

Have a good Sunday everyone. X

Worst week I've had. I just feel like hiding. When will all this madness end?

I'm so, so exhausted. 

"I'll still be with you even when the sun isn't shining, when the skies turn grey, when your world is upside down and when everyone else has gone away."

I guess no one ever made me feel the way I do when I'm around you. They say "Time that you enjoy wasting , isn't time wasted." Though it may not seem like that , but even when we're not doing anything when we're together , the day still feels complete when I'm with you. 

Thank you for the beautiful days , when I least deserved them. 

Sometimes , the more you try to hide something , the more it shows. 

Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed. Being happy doesn’t mean  perfect. It just means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

"I feared 
in love, but 
that fear was
 crushed by the
 act of courage 
to keep the fire
 burning despite
 the winds of 
self-deception 
against terrible 
beauty. "

~Nanaya

-

I wouldn't know what its like to be in your shoes. I never will. I wouldn't say I don't understand you and your actions either. And I've accepted the fact that, you've developed feelings you can't control. Because I know everyone just wants to find someone to love&you're only human. I just wished, I wasn't a part of this. &I just wished everything hadn't got this complicated. You can't just say sorry for doing the things you knew you should've never done. 

“'Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup.

"If its meant to be , it will be." , you said to her. It never was meant to be me , was it?
I don't know what to say or feel. I just feel like I'm the one caught in between instead, obstructing what might make you truly happy. I want to see you happy and that's all I ever wanted. Whatever move or decision we make now is going to hurt someone, but I don't want it to be you. I'd rather it be me. I want you to make a decision for yourself, not for anyone else. Not me, not anyone.

"Love isn't perfect. It isn't a fairytale or a storybook. And it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, and every second was worth it because you did it together."

Because everyday with you feels perfect, my day feels different, I'm , happy.

A dancers home , is on the stage.

"We don't dance because we can , nor because we crave it, 
we dance to tell our soul , we dance to live , 
we dance to become ourselves , we dance because we must."

"When you love two people at once."

 

By CAROLINE BROMLEY

"Love is both a feeling and an action. Loving two people at once is a little more complicated.

The feeling is simple. Meet somebody. Find them attractive. Find them funny. Find them quirky, find them refreshing, find them to be everything your partner is not. Call it lust, call it love. Call it something, because at the very least, it is something. You cannot deny that.

Lie awake at night. Picture their skin. Think of their body. Re-live each thrilling conversation in your minds eye and consider the thought of being with them. Fight down butterflies. Fight the urge to call them. Turn over thoughts in your mind that make you shiver with a strange electricity. Call it love.

The feeling of love is a simple one… in the beginning. It’s the one you felt years ago when meeting your partner for the first time. It’s the one that made you rip each other’s clothes off in their tiny apartment one Friday evening after drinks. It’s the one that peaked the first time you sat across from each other in a coffee shop and swore that you’d be there for each other forever. It’s the one that slowly faded as the day-to-day routine took over and the butterflies settled their feet.

The feeling of love is a simple one. The action is a little bit more complicated.

When you love someone, you choose them. You choose them over other people who pull at your heartstrings and play on your fantasies. You choose to remain with them, to stand by them, to find a way to fall in love with them all over again if you have to.

Feeling love for two people at once is not an excuse. It does not make you fall prey to breaking someone’s heart in half and leaving them out in the cold. Not if you’ve made a commitment to that person. Not if you still want to be with them. Not if the future you envision still belongs in part to that person and all that they bring to your life.

Loving two people at once is a fork in the road that takes the brave and enduring in one direction; the fearful and flighty in another. If we were to choose the more alluring path each time that we faced this fork, we would lead a life rife with passion and excitement, but devoid of so many things that build the cornerstones of lasting relationships. Things like patience. Diligence. Understanding. The acceptance that love isn’t always the way it’s portrayed at the end of a Disney film. That sometimes it’s messy or boring or hard but it can also be the firmest thing we have to hang onto when the rest of the world starts to shift.

Loving two people at once isn’t a matter of choosing the one who excites you over the one who has become commonplace. Loving somebody in a committed way means understanding that someday you may want to love someone else. May want to be with someone else. May want a lot of impossible things that you will simply have to turn over inside your mind then let go of. Because the choice to love one other person lives on long after the butterflies have died and the whirlwind has subsided. It is choice that keeps the passion alive. It is the choice that keeps love thriving no matter who or what else comes its way. It is the choice that has the power to renew a relationship over and over again. If – God forbid – we decide that we are willing to fight for it."

Give me love,

Life gets much easier when you learn to accept all the apologies you never got.  The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative. It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.” 

Forgiveness is a promise – one you want to keep. When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against the present.

If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

 But who am I , to have the rights to get mad, and blame you for everything that has happened. I, can't say for myself that , I'm perfect, I'm full of flaws and no matter how sorry I am and how much I try to make up for it, it'll never be enough and I acknowledge that.

But there's just this bitterness in me, knowing I'm not good enough not because I don't try to, but because I know no matter how hard and how much I try, I never will. &This breaks my heart, because I want to be the best for you. I want to be perfect for you, because I know you deserve nothing less.

Anyhow, I want to thank you , for making me a better person, for telling me hard how much of an imperfect person I actually am, many times when I think I'm not. Because I deserve to hear the truth instead of lies, and the truth hurts. I know you want me to be a better person, not because of you or anyone else, but myself.



Though the only thing I know is how much I really love you. How much I really want you.





I know life hasn't been a bed of roses with me, but if you'll wait for me, I promise there will always be a rainbow.





I love you, everyday and always. X