Friday, March 2, 2012

If you could turn back time?


Its almost 2 years since Lao shi's departure from Young talents,and it still felt like a short period of time since then. I have been in Nafa for 12 years now? &Under her for a decade long. Even during class at times,staring at the classroom makes me miss her,the straw chair she used to sit on,stamp her feet to our rhythm cause we're like,musically un-talented? Haha,or we probably have rhythmic problems. How the floors used to be wooden flooring and now they're all carpeted with dance mats,how they used to be much bigger,but now smaller cause we've all grown up. I remember I used to tell her my dreams,of dancing here when I grow up as a profession. How she looked at me and told me,this dream is not impossible. &Now that I've realized my dream of dancing as a profession,I'm pouring shit on it. What on earth am I thinking,whatever happened to all the passion and love. Well maybe the school didn't turn out as what I expected and I'm not actually doing what I really love. But then again,its a profession. I once heard my teacher told her younger students "If you're not here cause you want to dance,you don't belong here." I miss you Lao Shi,I wished someone would turn a cold shoulder on me everytime I'm late for class like you used to so I won't be late just to get your attention,I wish someone would whack me really hard cause I'm not in the right alignment,I wish you would still scold me to wake me up,to remind me how much I love this hobby I picked up cause I just went along without knowing I'd really fall in love with it. I wished you'd remind me why I worked so hard for so long,just to get to where I am now. I've never emailed you personally since you left. I'm honestly quite bad at typing Chinese,or even composing a letter in Chinese to begin with. But I want to let you know,thank you for scolding me when I was younger,for whacking me so hard to have what I have now and for believing in me and my dreams. I really really miss you. Cause its when I have no motivation at all,I think of you. &I realized,that's what keeps me going. 

With all that said,its time to work hard and get my ass back to where I left off. 
Honestly,I am just being lazy. My laziness gets the better of me everytime,so good luck to me. Back to school tomorrow. Life's hard. But we have to find a way around it. 1 more month,I can do this. 

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